she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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