we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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