Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
