Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
