I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
