I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just gargled with NyQuil
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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