Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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