So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
even my farts smell like vagina
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we're so committed to being not committed
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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