If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
