Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
