Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
