Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
