Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
These tits shall not be calmed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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