I puked a lego.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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