he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
