You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
