Non-Jews are for practice
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I love having hate sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
