idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
