if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
