those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Two words: blizzard sex
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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