you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
