I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
