I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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