I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
