Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i think my tv is drunk
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
