YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
