The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
