when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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