You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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