I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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