you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
