The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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