Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize