Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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