she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize