worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
