I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
