now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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