I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
