it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
