You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
