whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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