God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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