i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
