Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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