saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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