After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize