i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
