so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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