I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
