big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
