I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
