I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
