I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
