EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
only you would photoshop your dick
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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