yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
