I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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