god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
