Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You may now shotgun with the bride
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
