I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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