The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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